Popular Post lacanteen Posted January 8, 2017 Author Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2017 I’m not smart, I’m just really good at pretending to be not as dumb as I really am. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 I wonder if life gives dyslexic people melons instead of lemons? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 The saying “Early bird gets the worm” doesn’t make sense to me. The worm had to get up early too…“The early worm gets eaten.”. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 12, 2017 Author Share Posted January 12, 2017 Chop sticks don’t actually chop anything. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lacanteen Posted January 12, 2017 Author Popular Post Share Posted January 12, 2017 The real reason for an alien invasion would be that they’d be pissed that they saw dinosaurs light years away, and when they came it’s just us. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lacanteen Posted January 14, 2017 Author Popular Post Share Posted January 14, 2017 Now that there aren’t smoking and non smoking sections in restaurants they should change it to children and non children sections. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 If you break a pencil you have two pencils, but if you break a pen, you have zero pens. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 Did you ever wake up and kiss the person sleeping next to you and just feel glad to be alive? I did and now I can't fly on Southwest any more. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 The voice in my head does impressions. Damn good ones. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 Only important people get assassinated, everyone else gets murdered. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 19, 2017 Author Share Posted January 19, 2017 The term “getting stoned” has really evolved over the last 2000 years. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lacanteen Posted January 20, 2017 Author Popular Post Share Posted January 20, 2017 Kids these days will never experience the feeling of slamming the phone to hang up on someone. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 I wish I had a Voodoo doll of myself so I could give it a back rub. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 Cell phones killed off all the “synchronize watches” scenes in movies. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 Does Pavlov have an urge to feed a dog when he hears a bell? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 What happens when a psychic has Alzheimer's disease? Do they forget things that haven’t happened yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 If you go north for long enough you will eventually go south, but you can go east forever. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 Some people train dogs to hunt others to do tricks. Mine can’t even figure out where their farts come from. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 28, 2017 Author Share Posted January 28, 2017 It would be hilarious to wrap a Febreeze logo around an air horn and leave it in the bathroom. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 29, 2017 Author Share Posted January 29, 2017 The Internet is going to be so epic when ‘90s kids get in their 60’s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 30, 2017 Author Share Posted January 30, 2017 I should probably buy stocks in companies that sell cardboard and markers. Just seems like it’s gonna be that kind of year…or four. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 31, 2017 Author Share Posted January 31, 2017 Imagine being deaf and finding out that farts make noise. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted February 2, 2017 Author Share Posted February 2, 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lacanteen Posted February 3, 2017 Author Popular Post Share Posted February 3, 2017 When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning.” I sleep until noon because I’m a problem solver. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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