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Diary of a new New Englander


caserri

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As a followup to Diary of a new Texan, we follow the adventures of this weary soul as he moves from Texas to Massachusetts...

Part 2

Our story continues in August, where the Texan diary left off...

August 15th

Left Texas and moved to a more temperate state in New England. It's so beautiful here.

The lake to the north looks so majestic.

I can hardly wait to see it snow covered.

Im going to love it here.

October 14th

New England is definitely the most beautiful place on earth.

The leaves have turned all different shades of red and orange.

Went for a ride through the park and saw a deer. They are so graceful.

Certianly they are the most wonderful animals on earth.

This must be paradise, I LOVE IT HERE!

November 10th

Deer season will start soon. I cant imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous animal.

Hope it snows soon! I love it here.

November 11th

Those red and orange leaves have covered my yard. Looks like a magnificent multi colored carpet.

How beautiful. Raking and cleaning up the yard will be an opportunity for invigorating exercise in the cool, crisp air.

November 15th

Ah, More leaves and more exercise.

November 18th

Jesus. still more leaves.Guess it's best to wait until they've all fallen before I rake again.

November 25th

Finally, all on the tress lost their leaves and today's final raking is over for the season.

Chiropractor suggested I use a lawn maintenance service next year.

Only four blisters became infected. Should probably remember to use gloves.

November 30th

What the f***! Where did all these leaves come from?

A little wind last night and the lawn is covered again.

Oh well, they'll just have to wait until spring.

December 12th

It snowed last night, FINALLY. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard.

Went outside to clear the snow from the steps and shovel the driveway.

Had a snowball fight, (I won) and when the snow plow came by, I had to shovel the end of the driveway again.

What a beautiful place. I love New England.

December 14th

More snow last night. I love it. The snow plow did his trick in the driveway again.

I love it here.

December 19th

More snow again last night. Can't get out of the driveway to get to work. I'm exhausted from shoveling. F***ing snow plow.

December 22nd

More of that white sh*t fell again last night. As if dealing with the leaves werent bad enough, now I've got blisters all over my hands from shoveling. Must remember to wear gloves.

I think the snow plow hides around the corner and waits until I finish shoveling the driveway. That a**hole.

December 25th

Merry Christmas!

More friggen snow. If I ever get my hands on that SOB that drives the snow plow I swear I'll kill the bast***. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the f***ing ice.

December 27th

More white sh** last night. I've been inside for three days except for shoveling the driveway after that plow goes by.

F***ing gloves got wet and then froze on my hands. Doctor said it was just a mild case of frostbite. Dis figuration is probably only temporary.

Can't go anywhere. Car is stuck in a mountain of white sh**.

Weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the sh** tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

December 28th

The f***ing weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of that white sh**! At this rate, it wont melt until summer.

The plow got stuck up the road and the bast**d came to my door and asked to borrow a shovel.

After I told him I'd already broken six of them shoveling all the sh** he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his f***ing head.

January 4th

Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back, I hit a damned deer that ran in front of my car.

Did about $3000 in damage. F***ing beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

May 3rd

Took the car to the garage in town.The thing is rusting out from all the f***ing salt they put all over the roads!

May 10th

MOVING OUT OF NEW ENGLAND. why anyone in their right mind would ever live in this God forsaken place!

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Gawd I love clam chow-dah. Unfortunatley its the only food worth eating up here. I can't find any catfish, okra or grits to save my life!

No one fries anything! Everything is baked or boiled.

Sent using Tapatalk for Android.

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Gawd I love clam chow-dah. Unfortunatley its the only food worth eating up here. I can't find any catfish, okra or grits to save my life!

No one fries anything! Everything is baked or boiled.

Sent using Tapatalk for Android.

Yep, loved that clam chow da when I was up there. I miss the cheese steaks and pizzas from up there too. Can't find a good one down here. They never heard of ring bologna either.

But we do have plenty of catfish to make up for it. ;)

BTW, Steve. Had one heck of a good BBQ yesterday. Yum! ;D

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I guess my invite was lost in the mail.

Sent using Tapatalk for Android.

Mrs. C told me you couldn't make it because you were flooded. Had to bail water by buckets or something like that. ^-^

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Gawd I love clam chow-dah. Unfortunatley its the only food worth eating up here. I can't find any catfish, okra or grits to save my life!

No one fries anything! Everything is baked or boiled.

Sent using Tapatalk for Android.

i'm going to assume you are referring to when we eat out at a restaurant, and not when we are eating my damn fine home cooking. i'm going to go boil you a pork chop now, jerk. <_<

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  • 3 weeks later...

That's exactly why I moved south. I get to cut my grass all year long and I'd rather be racking pine straw than shoveling that white crap. ;D

I moved South for the same reason and paid to have the pine trees cut down because I was tired of those d*** pine needles all over the f****** place

John

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I moved South for the same reason and paid to have the pine trees cut down because I was tired of those d*** pine needles all over the f****** place

John

But you don't have a wife like mine. If it was up to me, all the trees would be cut down. ;)

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