Jokes for the day!

[CajunCandy]

Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

Q: What do you call two skunks that are 69ing?
A: Odor eaters

Q: Why do men name their penis?
A: They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of
their decisions.

Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.

Q: Why do women have vaginas?
A: So men will talk to them.

Q: Why do only 30% of men get into Heaven?
A: If it were more, it would be Hell.

Q: What is the new gay website address?
A: c : enter # # #

Q: Why do men like big **** and tight *****?
A: Because they've got big mouths and little dicks.

Q: What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
A: About three inches.

Q: Why don't women have any brains?
A: Because they don't have penises to keep them in.

Q: What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?
A: Her feet!

Q: What is the difference between a geneologist and a gynecologist?
A: A geneologist looks up your family tree and a gynecologist looks up your bush.

Q: Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
A: Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.

Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: So he could run his fingers through his hair.

Q: Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman.
A: A microwave doesn't scream when you put a piece of meat in it.

Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.

Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: A different bar.

Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
A: They named him Sum Ting Wong.

Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A: A speech impediment.

Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
A: They're hiring.

Q: Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A: Because they're not going to work in the future, either.

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
A: He walks around saying, "Yo".

Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A: A pimp.

Q: Why do drivers' education classes in redneck schools use the car
only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q: What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A: A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say golpher?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Q: What's the Cuban national anthem?
A: "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

Q: What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A: A Northern fairytale begins, "Once upon a time..." A Southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this golpher..."

Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
A: Say, "Nice golpher."

Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy ****.

Q: Are birth control pills deductible?
A: Only if they don't work.

Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.

Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.

Q: What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A: A cock that stays up all night.

Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.

Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A: A bingo machine.