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Commission Sales Letter


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I just typed this up in about 5 minutes. Still needs some editing. Just wanted some early opinions.

[size=EARN 20% OF ALL MY SALES!]

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Dear location owner,

            My name is Andrew Sasala and I own and operate All-Star Vending. I am interested in renting about a square foot of your unused floor space. I specialize in placement and service of small coin operated gumball/candy machines, like the one pictured below. These machines require a small amount of space and offer your customers and employees a fresh snack for just a quarter. I can offer you 20% of every quarter I collect. All you have to do is allow me to place a machine in your business. I will set up the machine, provide the candy and service the machine about once a month. I usually stock my machines with gumballs, peanut M&M’s and Mike and Ike’s however I do take requests and will do my best to include your favorite candy. If this machine does well I can upgrade the equipment to increase revenue and put more money in both our pockets. If the machine does not do well or if you would like the machine removed at any time for any reason just call and I will come and remove the machine. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to call. Thank you for your time.




Andrew Sasala





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How do you plan to deliver the letter?  Via mail?  You have to think about the cost of postage and the fact that the 1%-3% reponse rate is a killer.  So for every 100 letters you send out, you might get 1-3 responses.  And responses don't mean that you would get a sale.  And you have to factor in your cost for printing and envelopes.  The cost of stamps now is $0.42.  So you would pay $42 just in stamps to get MAYBE 1 location out of it.  It would be cheaper to go with a locator.  You can get a single or a double placed for about $35 and that would be a sure thing.

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Andrew, I like it.  I think that all you have to do is print off about 100 of these and drop them off at businesses around your town.  I like how you mention the part about upgrading and making both parties more $.  I think it is a convincing letter and you could have some success with it.

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Thanks G-man. My approach would be to give this pitch myself in person if the decision maker is available. If they seem interested but do not give me an immediate yes then I would give them a letter and tell them to think it over and call me when they are ready.

If the decision meker is not available then I would leave a letter for them and follow up in a few days. I never planned to mail them, the postage would be a killer.

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One idea you might consider is using the phrase "profit sharing" in a sentence like:

"I specialize in profit-sharing with local businesses through the placement of small coin operated candy / gumball machines like the one pictured below. I can help you turn one square foot of your business into space that generates additional monthly income with no additional cost to you. We've been very successful with our profit-sharing program and would love to discuss it with you."

It seems like when I am going after a commission location and use the words "profit sharing" that it has gotten people's attention quickly.

You may also consider not putting in a percentage altogether to give yourself flexibility among locations. I feel some would look at 20% and chunk the letter because they may already be getting 30+ percent from someone else. Or, the decision-maker may already be aware that 30% is the industry standard if they are in the restaurant business.

This is something you'll have to determine in leading your own company's expansion. I know for some businesses I will pay 30% and some I won't go over 20%. I like the flexibility to decide on the spot and have developed the "law of intuition" to some extent which motivates me to give a certain percentage based on my on-the-spot evaluation. If I feel there is competition but good room for my specific products I'll step up to the plate. If it is questionable, I'll usually split the difference and give 25%. If I think it a roll of the dice as to whether I can come out, I may only give 20%.

One thing I have used and will use more in the future in rack placement is offering an on the spot incentive if they let me in immediately. The incentive may be cash, a Starbucks Card, gift card from somewhere, etc.

I personally feel flashing a $50 bill would be a great way to get a location you really want if you have evaluated the location and are willing to take the chance. I wouldn't do this except in some of the places with the biggest potential because you still have to figure this $50 in your rate of return on the location. This technique can get you some leverage though with the decision makers. You may be able to get the same leverage with even less.

I think you've got a great letter though. Just wanted to give you a couple of things for you to evaluate in the mix.

Let us know how it goes!


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Thanks Mark,

 I will take all that into consideration. I wanted to use the 20% as an attention grabber. I could probally change it up and use " Turn your unused floor space into extra monthly income" or something like that. It is still a work in progress.

Ultimately I think I will win or loose locations by how I can relate face to face with the business owner. My goal is to show them that if they make money I make money. When ever someone is trying to sell me on something I always look for their angle, I always ask myself  "How is this person trying to benefit from me?"  If they are forthright and show me where their profit is coming from then I will consider their offer. If they try to hide how they will make their money then I just assume they are trying to take my money.

I don't want to push too hard however I want them to understand that we can both benefit from placing a machine in their business.

Thanks for the vote Timber.

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My suggestion would be to replace the number of "I"'s.  It reduces the focus on the business.  Try "XYZ vending is proud to offer".  or "At XYZ vending we offer". 

Also "Quarter I collect"..........maybe........ All-Star vending offers 20% comission on gross revenue.

Also never give a chance for them to remove the machine, maybe phrase that as - "Of course, if you ever have a concern, All-Star responds to all calls promptly." 



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