lacanteen Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 Our hands have fingertips but our toes don’t have toetips. Yet we can tiptoe...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted August 26, 2017 Author Share Posted August 26, 2017 If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know that I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted August 27, 2017 Author Share Posted August 27, 2017 It's true that a fine beer can be judged with one sip, but it's better to be completely thorough when doing research Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted August 28, 2017 Author Share Posted August 28, 2017 The United States is having so many tragedies and disasters that one might think it's built on top of hundreds of ancient Indian burial grounds. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted August 29, 2017 Author Share Posted August 29, 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted August 30, 2017 Author Share Posted August 30, 2017 Life is just a really long story about how you died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 Horses are probably the most farted upon creatures in the entire world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 1, 2017 Author Share Posted September 1, 2017 I know my limits.....I don't pay any attention to them, but I know them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 I used to win a lot more arguments before Google became popular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 3, 2017 Author Share Posted September 3, 2017 North Korea is the world’s chihuahua. It’s small, unpredictable, evil, and no one wants to get close to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngryChris Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 7 hours ago, lacanteen said: North Korea is the world’s chihuahua. It’s small, unpredictable, evil, and no one wants to get close to it. How dare you say that about Dear Leader! Do you not know that the man does not even poop because he works so hard, he burns off every calorie in his body before anything can come back out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 4, 2017 Author Share Posted September 4, 2017 They should put pictures of missing people on the packs of cigarettes because they’re the kinds of people that will always be outside in all kinds of weather. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 Will humanity evolve enough over the next 5,000 years to the point where living in the year 6969 WONT be funny? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 A whoopee cushion partially filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to an otherwise tiresome practical joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 8, 2017 Author Share Posted September 8, 2017 With the rise of self-driving vehicles these days, it’s only a matter of time before there’s a country song where the guy’s truck leaves him. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 I wonder if when a French person curses, they say “Excuse my English” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 Deodorant makers need to stop telling people their product lasts for 48 hours. Some people on the subway actually believe that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 11, 2017 Author Share Posted September 11, 2017 Los Angeles sports is basically a sponsor for Dodge vehicles. Dodgers, Rams, Chargers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 12, 2017 Author Share Posted September 12, 2017 My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get the hell out of my fort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 13, 2017 Author Share Posted September 13, 2017 Anyone who’s ever said “Whistle while you work” has clearly never worked with someone who whistled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 13, 2017 Author Share Posted September 13, 2017 If you say "gullible" slowly, it sounds like "oranges". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 14, 2017 Author Share Posted September 14, 2017 I never argue. I simply explain why I'm right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 14, 2017 Author Share Posted September 14, 2017 I wonder if after we find aliens, they will be pissed that we’ve been hosting “Miss Universe” pageants without them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 15, 2017 Author Share Posted September 15, 2017 Autocorrect has become my worst enema. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 15, 2017 Author Share Posted September 15, 2017 They say that the 5 senses will diminish as you get older, but the only thing that has diminished for me is my sense of decency. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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