lacanteen Posted January 14, 2018 Author Share Posted January 14, 2018 There’s going to be a lot of mid-October nuclear scare babies born in Hawaii. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 15, 2018 Author Share Posted January 15, 2018 A fly flying through a fart must be like a human driving past a paper mill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 16, 2018 Author Share Posted January 16, 2018 Since the iPhone X has facial recognition, a lot of women that use heavy makeup will get locked out of their own phone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 17, 2018 Author Share Posted January 17, 2018 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 18, 2018 Author Share Posted January 18, 2018 Being around someone who has resolved to stop swearing is like watching a child learn to walk. You want them to succeed but it’s usually funnier if they fail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 19, 2018 Author Share Posted January 19, 2018 When high we basically turn into dogs, licking all the cheese out of the cheese and crackers, unexpected doorbell scares the golpher out of you, random food combinations taste delicious, and someone rubbing your back feels heavenly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClarkMI Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 On 1/18/2018 at 8:40 AM, lacanteen said: Being around someone who has resolved to stop swearing is like watching a child learn to walk. You want them to succeed but it’s usually funnier if they fail. It's brilliant on the other side of this effort. A freedom of conscience and a higher level of speech and thought. It's worth the work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mage Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 57 minutes ago, ClarkMI said: It's brilliant on the other side of this effort. A freedom of conscience and a higher level of speech and thought. It's worth the work. I only selectively choose to censor myself when speaking. I attempt to have some sort of decorum in social situations, but I dislike trying to prevent myself from using any language myself. Yet I have felt these problems when the birth of a nephew had an effect on one of my jokes. They named him Jacob, and I used to sing the song John Jacob, with the altered words "Stupid F'n S***". Then with a new Grandson, my Daughter didn't want swearing around him, so I changed to using Crap, and Freakin'. It's funny I became a moderator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 20, 2018 Author Share Posted January 20, 2018 Losing your virginity greatly reduces the odds of being a human sacrifice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 22, 2018 Author Share Posted January 22, 2018 Ever hear a high pitched ringing in your ear for no reason? Probably a dog somewhere blowing a human whistle. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 23, 2018 Author Share Posted January 23, 2018 The plus side of spilling your coffee on yourself is it still wakes you up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 24, 2018 Author Share Posted January 24, 2018 There should be a noodle brand named “Karma” so people can make themselves a cup of “Instant Karma”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 25, 2018 Author Share Posted January 25, 2018 If bed bugs are found on a bed, who came up with the name cockroach? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 25, 2018 Author Share Posted January 25, 2018 You know you’re getting older when you start having to brace yourself for a sneeze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 26, 2018 Author Share Posted January 26, 2018 Imagine how awkward sexting would be if we still had switchboard operators. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 27, 2018 Author Share Posted January 27, 2018 Don't give up on your dreams..........keep sleeping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 Don't give up on your dreams..........keep sleeping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 28, 2018 Author Share Posted January 28, 2018 You know that you’re officially lost when you turn down the car radio and take off your sunglasses… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 29, 2018 Author Share Posted January 29, 2018 I've been told I'm condescending. (That means I talk down to people) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngryChris Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 15 hours ago, lacanteen said: I've been told I'm condescending. (That means I talk down to people) LOL. This is a good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 31, 2018 Author Share Posted January 31, 2018 Is it odd to anyone else that a telephone makes sound travel faster than the speed of sound? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 31, 2018 Author Share Posted January 31, 2018 Wrestling is a sport where people without pants fight for a belt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted February 1, 2018 Author Share Posted February 1, 2018 Do strippers have nightmares about showing up to work in business casual? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted February 2, 2018 Author Share Posted February 2, 2018 The fact that today is not considered ‘National Ballet day’ seems like a missed opportunity. (2/2) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted February 4, 2018 Author Share Posted February 4, 2018 After spending 15 minutes trying to take my wife's bra off, I gave up. I should never have put it on in the first place. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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