lacanteen Posted February 28, 2018 Author Share Posted February 28, 2018 I must have an amazing butt. Every time I walk away from someone they always whisper "What an a$$" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lacanteen Posted March 1, 2018 Author Popular Post Share Posted March 1, 2018 The problem with society is that the people who are smart enough to listen are not the ones doing most of the talking. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 2, 2018 Author Share Posted March 2, 2018 Our pets probably believe housecleaning is some kind of ritual we use to summon our parents. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 The best thing about dogs is you can act like something good happened and they’ll celebrate. They’re always ready to party no matter what! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 4, 2018 Author Share Posted March 4, 2018 We cook beans and throw away the water, but make coffee and throw away the beans. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 5, 2018 Author Share Posted March 5, 2018 Exactly how long is a cotton picking minute? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 6, 2018 Author Share Posted March 6, 2018 People always point out that bird-songs are just birds trying to get laid, but aren’t most human-songs the exact same thing? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 7, 2018 Author Share Posted March 7, 2018 One day you’re not old and the next day you have a favorite supermarket. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lacanteen Posted March 8, 2018 Author Popular Post Share Posted March 8, 2018 Towels should be a different color on each side, that way you don’t accidentally dry your face with the side you dried your butt. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lacanteen Posted March 9, 2018 Author Popular Post Share Posted March 9, 2018 Would it be sexual harassment if a midget says your hair smells nice? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 11, 2018 Author Share Posted March 11, 2018 If a woman says she'll be ready in 5 minutes there's no reason to remind her every 15 minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 12, 2018 Author Share Posted March 12, 2018 Leftover Mountain Dew will henceforth be known as residew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 You don’t realize how important the two shift keys on your keyboard on until you’re eating with food in your hand. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 14, 2018 Author Share Posted March 14, 2018 Some day, there will be old people still saying “google it” with younger folks rolling their eyes at them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 15, 2018 Author Share Posted March 15, 2018 These days, using a dollar bill as a book mark is cheaper than buying a bookmark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 80% of yoga is holding in a fart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 18, 2018 Author Share Posted March 18, 2018 Turtle necks are just uncircumcised t-shirts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 19, 2018 Author Share Posted March 19, 2018 Too bad alcohol isn’t heavily discounted the day after St. Patrick’s Day the way candy is after Valentine’s Day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 When you buy a self driving car it should be able to deliver itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 23, 2018 Author Share Posted March 23, 2018 Alcohol is like a push-up bra, for your personality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lacanteen Posted March 23, 2018 Author Popular Post Share Posted March 23, 2018 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 25, 2018 Author Share Posted March 25, 2018 You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 26, 2018 Author Share Posted March 26, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 27, 2018 Author Share Posted March 27, 2018 I don't understand why it hurts when you bite your tongue by accident, and it doesn't hurt when you bite it on purpose. I also don't understand why you are biting your tongue right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 28, 2018 Author Share Posted March 28, 2018 There is no physical evidence to say that today is Wednesday, we all just have to trust that someone has kept count since the first one ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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