lacanteen Posted March 29, 2018 Author Share Posted March 29, 2018 It takes Dominos 30 minutes or less to make, bake and deliver a pizza but it takes 2 hours for a pharmacist to take 20 pills out of a big bottle and put them in a smaller one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 30, 2018 Author Share Posted March 30, 2018 One day aliens will find out that we have been constantly choosing our own species for Miss Universe and they’ll be very upset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 30, 2018 Author Share Posted March 30, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted March 31, 2018 Author Share Posted March 31, 2018 Refrigerator magnets are memes for old people. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 1, 2018 Author Share Posted April 1, 2018 If aliens landed on earth today half of us would think it’s an April fools joke and the other half would think it’s the second coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 2, 2018 Author Share Posted April 2, 2018 How soon after getting up is it OK to take a nap? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 3, 2018 Author Share Posted April 3, 2018 If sat is the past tense of sit, then fat is the past tense of fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 4, 2018 Author Share Posted April 4, 2018 Representatives of the public (Governors, Senators, etc.) should be paid the average salary of the nation/state they are in to give them an incentive to improve living standards. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 5, 2018 Author Share Posted April 5, 2018 I wish I could be ugly for just one day..............because being it every day is exhausting. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 6, 2018 Author Share Posted April 6, 2018 Remember having to put your head down on your desk with the lights out as a punishment in school as a kid? That would be awesome as an adult. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 7, 2018 Author Share Posted April 7, 2018 There are entire civilizations that have risen and fallen throughout history that had no idea that ice even existed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 8, 2018 Author Share Posted April 8, 2018 If you have a Wikipedia page, you’ve either succeeded in life, or failed spectacularly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 9, 2018 Author Share Posted April 9, 2018 You never realize you took being alone for granted until you get stuck talking to someone who won’t shut the hell up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 10, 2018 Author Share Posted April 10, 2018 I'm gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet just to mess with myself if i get Alzheimer's. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 11, 2018 Author Share Posted April 11, 2018 The best days lack alarms and pants. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 12, 2018 Author Share Posted April 12, 2018 Imagine a fish coming into your living room wearing a mask and watching you eat breakfast. That’s what snorkeling is to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 13, 2018 Author Share Posted April 13, 2018 There are two types of alcoholics in the world: those who know when the liquor store closes, and those who know when it opens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 14, 2018 Author Share Posted April 14, 2018 The year 2069 will show humanity just how immature we really are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 15, 2018 Author Share Posted April 15, 2018 If you see someone wearing a $20,000 watch it’s hard to know if they’re really good with money or really bad with money. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 16, 2018 Author Share Posted April 16, 2018 The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew on their army knife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 17, 2018 Author Share Posted April 17, 2018 A sure sign that you’re getting old is when people start saying “you still got it” in regards to any skill you have. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 18, 2018 Author Share Posted April 18, 2018 If you live 70 years, you've spent 10 years on Monday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 19, 2018 Author Share Posted April 19, 2018 The only problem with the first 30 minutes of exercising is that only 2 minutes have gone by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 19, 2018 Author Share Posted April 19, 2018 Anxiety is like worrying that you forgot your car keys even though you are driving your car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orsd Posted April 19, 2018 Share Posted April 19, 2018 7 minutes ago, lacanteen said: Anxiety is like worrying that you forgot your car keys even though you are driving your car. Keyless start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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