orsd Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 5 hours ago, lacanteen said: One of the best feelings is when somebody flies past you on the highway then a few moments later you pull up beside them at the same red light. False. It’s when they fly past you, stop, but the light turns green so you don’t even have to slow as you hammer down through the intersection past them while they are still trying to get back up to speed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 Identical twins could make a ton of money if one purposely got fat while the other got buff. They’d make a killing selling before and after photos for weight loss advertisements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 Does anybody else have the fear of mistyping your password, and then retyping the same mistake into the confirm password? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 Dentists are Reverse-Tooth Fairies, they take money and fix teeth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 For all the guys who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember that's where the knives are kept. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 7, 2018 Author Share Posted June 7, 2018 I don't know how to act my age, I've never been this old before. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 8, 2018 Author Share Posted June 8, 2018 Since haste makes waste and good things come to those who wait, procrastination deserves a lot more respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orsd Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 6 hours ago, lacanteen said: Since haste makes waste and good things come to those who wait, procrastination deserves a lot more respect. See my sig line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 9, 2018 Author Share Posted June 9, 2018 The age that you can afford nice things is about the time you have children to destroy them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 10, 2018 Author Share Posted June 10, 2018 If you raise your children, you'll spoil your grand kids. If you spoil your children, you'll raise your grand kids. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 11, 2018 Author Share Posted June 11, 2018 The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we are born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 “Sorry we’re clothed” would make a pretty good closed sign at a strip club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 13, 2018 Author Share Posted June 13, 2018 Knowledge is knowing that you can carry all of the groceries in at once. Wisdom is making multiple trips so that by the time you are done, other family members have put away most of the groceries. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 14, 2018 Author Share Posted June 14, 2018 People growing up today will never know the horror that is the sound of your favorite cassette tape being eaten in the player. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 15, 2018 Author Share Posted June 15, 2018 Why do we pronounce the “G” in “signature” but not in “sign”? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 16, 2018 Author Share Posted June 16, 2018 I bet giraffes don’t even know what a fart smells like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 17, 2018 Author Share Posted June 17, 2018 A lot of people cry when they cut onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lacanteen Posted June 18, 2018 Author Popular Post Share Posted June 18, 2018 I made a graph of my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 19, 2018 Author Share Posted June 19, 2018 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 20, 2018 Author Share Posted June 20, 2018 Boomers that can’t wrap their heads around how much college and home prices have gone up are in for a rude awakening when they find out what nursing homes cost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 21, 2018 Author Share Posted June 21, 2018 A gun safe can be considered a jewelry box for men. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lacanteen Posted June 22, 2018 Author Popular Post Share Posted June 22, 2018 The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 29, 2018 Author Share Posted June 29, 2018 Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted June 30, 2018 Author Share Posted June 30, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orsd Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 7 hours ago, lacanteen said: Rapeseed oil? (Rapeseed is canola btw) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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