Jump to content
lacanteen

Random thoughts

Recommended Posts

The spiders that live in Buckingham Palace now are probably the descendants of the spiders that lived there during Victorian times - it's a whole parallel royal family but with spiders.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If reincarnation is real, then maybe flies and other bugs are purposely annoying because they want to get killed and get reincarnated as something better.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cough drops are just candy that grew up and got a job.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It would suck if you got invited to an ugly sweater party and it turned out it was only for people who are ugly and sweat a lot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of the unspoken things about being an adult is having a favorite burner on the stove.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most people’s usernames are likely more complex than their passwords.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe the reason we haven't seen aliens is that they discovered earth 100 million years ago, but were scared $hitless by the dinosaurs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dec 25 feels more like a deadline than a holiday.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People say dogs are more loyal, but cats don’t tell the police where the drugs are hidden.

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Give a man a beer and he’ll entertain you. Hold a man’s beer and he’ll entertain the entire internet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some people say that Australians are just British Texans.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People are getting up in arms about Baby It’s Cold Outside when no one seems to give a damn about Grandma getting run over by a reindeer.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Taking a bra off is the highlight of a man or woman’s day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

NASCAR would be more interesting if they added ramps to the race track.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Before the invention of the crowbar, crows had to do their drinking at home.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Decorate your house with Rorschach tests, so if someone doesn’t like your interior design, it’s their own problem.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You might not be aware of it, but your dog has trained you to do a few tricks too.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Old age isn’t finding your cell phone in the fridge. Old age is having to check the fridge when your cell phone is missing, because you can’t rule it out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We have over 50 euphemisms for boobs but no word for the day after tomorrow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Anything recommended by a stoned person is highly recommended.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It would be awesome if we had an alarm clock that puts us to sleep instantly at a certain time instead of waking us up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Was thinking about painting a blue square in the backyard so that Google Earth thinks we have a pool.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/7/2019 at 7:06 AM, lacanteen said:

We have over 50 euphemisms for boobs but no word for the day after tomorrow.

Bad movie?

Schlock?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...