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lacanteen

Random thoughts

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When a spouse dies, you not only lose your partner, but also the person you would go to tell about what happened to you.

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Seeing as how both Batman and Ironman’s only real super powers are that they are super rich and very smart, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs sure turned out to be disappointments.

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People who litter have terrible taste in booze.

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April Fools’ Day doesn’t really exist. It’s just been the longest prank in History.

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Feeling a sneeze with a mouthful of food is easily a top 10 most panicking sensation you can ever feel.

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The true sign of maturity is when can you stop halfway through typing a snarky comment then delete it.

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There was a time in your life when you thought 2nd graders were the coolest people in the world.

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Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.

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Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?

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7 hours ago, lacanteen said:

Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?

No because Vegans always Squash their differences, but that rarely happens because they rarely have differences.

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Allergies are actually a superpower that lets people detect when plants are having sex.

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The most terrifying thing that could happen to a fly is zooming through an audience attending a live performance of Queen's "We Will Rock You:.

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If you sneeze and fart at the same time, your body takes a screenshot.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they're driving, and you're in the back seat, and, they don't know you.

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Procrastination is totally a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today.

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I put on my pants just like everyone else-only when I absolutely have to.

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A pessimist is an optimist with experience.

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Give a man a beer, and he entertains you. Hold a man’s beer, and he entertains the world.

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Maybe cats purposely break stuff so that when new stuff is bought they get to play with the box.

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At some point in time, you will be the crazy person in someone else’s story. (Or already have been)

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tumblr_inline_pq0nyr7em11qget63_540.jpg

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Shape-matching games for children are essentially just early training to find the matching Tupperware lid as an adult.

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It’s very likely that at some point in the future, another child will grow up in your childhood home, and will end up having many of the same sorts of memories in the same place that you had them.

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