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lacanteen

Random thoughts

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No one can easily find out that today is a Thursday, we’ve just been trusting that someone has been keeping count since the first one.

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I did a push-up today. Actually, I fell down and had to use my arms to get back up...........close enough. 

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Perhaps the real reason why we haven’t met any time-travelers yet is because this era in history is perhaps not a very interesting place that time-travelers would like to visit.

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Alcohol is the WD40 of social interactions.

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I'm working on a screenplay about a serial killer stamp collector who works at a soup kitchen to allay suspicions.

It's called The Full Ladle Fatal Philatelist.

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The fact that there’s more paperwork involved in adopting a kid than conceiving a kid seems counter-intuitive.

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Hot fudge is ice cream gravy.

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Grass is a scam invented in the 1960s to sell lawnmowers.

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You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.

 

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4 hours ago, lacanteen said:

You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.

I was once told the way to distinguish a crocodile from an alligator is to kick it. If it runs away it's an alligator. If it bites your leg off it's a crocodile.

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At some point in time, some one decided flipping the middle finger meant “f*** you” and we all just kinda went with it.

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If image cropping could be reversed all hell would break loose.

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It helps if you imagine auto-correct as a tiny little elf in your phone who’s trying so hard to be helpful but is in fact quite drunk.

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Everyone has a moment in their lives when they realize islands do not “float” on the ocean.

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3 hours ago, lacanteen said:

Everyone has a moment in their lives when they realize islands do not “float” on the ocean.

guam-will-tip-over-01.jpg

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30 minutes ago, The Mage said:

guam-will-tip-over-01.jpg

I remember that one! What a gas bag. 

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Oddly enough, most people associate “silent but deadly” with farts instead of murderous mimes.

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Getting a song stuck in your head wouldn't be so bad if it was the whole song instead of a 6 second loop.

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The middle ground between “sea” and “land” is “sand”.

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Every day, thousands of people are happy because their checked luggage came out first.

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Financial stability is buying gas before the light comes on.

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100 years ago, we made the roads smoother so people could travel faster. Now, we have to add bumps so people travel slower.

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He who drinks a fifth on the fourth, may not be able to go forth on the fifth.

-anon

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There’s probably millions of “before” pictures without “after” pictures because the person gave up.

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Maybe women hate cargo shorts because they reveal the tactical inferiority of purses.

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