lacanteen Posted September 5, 2019 Author Share Posted September 5, 2019 As a kid, I once had ADHD, until my dad's belt came off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 6, 2019 Author Share Posted September 6, 2019 Some people say I have a drinking problem but the truth is I can't even remember that last time I blacked out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 7, 2019 Author Share Posted September 7, 2019 I was pulled over last night and the officer asked me if I had a police record. I told him "No, but I have a couple CDs by Sting". He didn't laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 8, 2019 Author Share Posted September 8, 2019 The most unrealistic thing about Spy movies is how clean the air ventilation system is. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 9, 2019 Author Share Posted September 9, 2019 You can't change the past but you can still shape your future. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 10, 2019 Author Share Posted September 10, 2019 Whenever I have a panic attack I put a paper bag over my mouth and consume the adult beverage within. It really seems to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 12, 2019 Author Share Posted September 12, 2019 I'm told that it's possible to go to the gym and not tell Facebook about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 12, 2019 Author Share Posted September 12, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 16, 2019 Author Share Posted September 16, 2019 If you are reading this then you are blissfully unaware of what is creeping up behind you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 17, 2019 Author Share Posted September 17, 2019 You know you're a bad driver when Siri says: "In 400 feet, stop and let me out." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 19, 2019 Author Share Posted September 19, 2019 I called my boss this morning and asked if I could come in late so I could get a little more sleep. He said: "Dream on." That was really nice of him, I'll thank him again later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 20, 2019 Author Share Posted September 20, 2019 How come when The Hulk smashes everything he's "incredible", but when I do it I'm "drunk" and banned from Walmart? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 23, 2019 Author Share Posted September 23, 2019 I can remember back when my knees were referred to as "left" and "right", instead of "good" and "bad". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 24, 2019 Author Share Posted September 24, 2019 Remember back when, if you dropped your phone, it didn't break, just the back came off and the battery flew out. Snap it back together and all is good. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 26, 2019 Author Share Posted September 26, 2019 I think some people think they are hated for their race, sexuality, or gender, but the reality is that they are just unlikable a$$holes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 27, 2019 Author Share Posted September 27, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted September 30, 2019 Author Share Posted September 30, 2019 Was it a bad day or was it a bad 10 minutes that you milked all day? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted October 1, 2019 Author Share Posted October 1, 2019 They say that if you lose one sense your other senses are enhanced. This might explain why people with no sense of humor have a heightened sense of self importance. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClarkMI Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 If the Religious Society of Friends holds a fashion show, will it be attended by all the Quaker hautes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted October 3, 2019 Author Share Posted October 3, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted October 4, 2019 Author Share Posted October 4, 2019 There's 10 reasons I hate click bait. Number 7 will completely shock you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted October 7, 2019 Author Share Posted October 7, 2019 Some folks say I'm crazy. Fortunately, I'm the only one that can hear them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted October 8, 2019 Author Share Posted October 8, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lacanteen Posted October 9, 2019 Author Popular Post Share Posted October 9, 2019 To all those who want to confiscate guns: As a "trial run", confiscate them from criminals first, to prove how good of an idea this is. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orsd Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 8 hours ago, lacanteen said: To all those who want to confiscate guns: As a "trial run", confiscate them from criminals first, to prove how good of an idea this is. Hell, we can barely keep them out of prison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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