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lacanteen

Random thoughts

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As a kid, I once had ADHD, until my dad's belt came off.

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Some people say I have a drinking problem but the truth is I can't even remember that last time I blacked out.

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I was pulled over last night and the officer asked me if I had a police record. I told him "No, but I have a couple CDs by Sting". He didn't laugh.

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The most unrealistic thing about Spy movies is how clean the air ventilation system is.

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You can't change the past but you can still shape your future.

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Whenever I have a panic attack I put a paper bag over my mouth and consume the adult beverage within. It really seems to help. 

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I'm told that it's possible to go to the gym and not tell Facebook about it.

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If you are reading this then you are blissfully unaware of what is creeping up behind you.

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You know you're a bad driver when Siri says: "In 400 feet, stop and let me out."

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I called my boss this morning and asked if I could come in late so I could get a little more sleep. He said: "Dream on."
That was really nice of him, I'll thank him again later. 

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How come when The Hulk smashes everything he's "incredible", but when I do it I'm "drunk" and banned from Walmart?

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I can remember back when my knees were referred to as "left" and "right", instead of "good" and "bad".

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Remember back when, if you dropped your phone, it didn't break, just the back came off and the battery flew out. Snap it back together and all is good.

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I think some people think they are hated for their race, sexuality, or gender, but the reality is that they are just unlikable a$$holes.

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Was it a bad day or was it a bad 10 minutes that you milked all day?

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They say that if you lose one sense your other senses are enhanced. This might explain why people with no sense of humor have a heightened sense of self importance. 

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If the Religious Society of Friends holds a fashion show, will it be attended by all the Quaker hautes?

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a58af4712f7b0550bea7d303c95ca6e64005ce2d

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There's 10 reasons I hate click bait. Number 7 will completely shock you!

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Some folks say I'm crazy. Fortunately, I'm the only one that can hear them.

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8 hours ago, lacanteen said:

To all those who want  to confiscate guns:  As a "trial run", confiscate them from criminals first, to prove how good of an idea this is.

Hell, we can barely keep them out of prison.

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