lacanteen Posted April 21, 2020 Author Share Posted April 21, 2020 If I had a dollar every time someone complained about the cost of food at the cinema I could almost afford a child size popcorn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 22, 2020 Author Share Posted April 22, 2020 We won't buy cereal if the box is damaged even though it's in a bag but we blindly trust bread sealed with a twist tie. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 23, 2020 Author Share Posted April 23, 2020 Seems like a lot of the protesters who want to reopen the country are retirees. They don't want to get back to work, they just want everyone else to. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 24, 2020 Author Share Posted April 24, 2020 I bought a toilet brush yesterday. I can honestly say I still prefer toilet paper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 25, 2020 Author Share Posted April 25, 2020 Reading books from a 100 years ago doesn't really show how technology has changed society. It just shows us how people have always been the same, but modern technology enables us to do stupid acts faster and more efficiently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 26, 2020 Author Share Posted April 26, 2020 I bet 85% of gym members don’t even know their gym is shut down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 27, 2020 Author Share Posted April 27, 2020 All genuine leather clothes are used Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 28, 2020 Author Share Posted April 28, 2020 We live in a world where bacon is cooked and cookies are baked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 29, 2020 Author Share Posted April 29, 2020 Trust works very similar to the way a sticker does. Once its removed, it may stick again, but not as strong as it did when you first applied it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted April 30, 2020 Author Share Posted April 30, 2020 There is no greater joy than randomly finding junk food you’ve forgotten you’ve bought. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 1, 2020 Author Share Posted May 1, 2020 Every invisible person looks the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 2, 2020 Author Share Posted May 2, 2020 Every bottle of alcohol is a single serving if you're committed enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 3, 2020 Author Share Posted May 3, 2020 It sucks when you're really good at something that you don't like doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 There seems to be some sort of correlation between how large your sunglasses are and how entitled you act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 6, 2020 Author Share Posted May 6, 2020 Sometimes when you're in a heated argument with someone it's best to just let them be wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 7, 2020 Author Share Posted May 7, 2020 If you hate the way you look, you’re not ugly, you’re just not your type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youngtrepreneur Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 When you drink orange juice, you're basically consuming orange guts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 18, 2020 Author Share Posted May 18, 2020 I sleep better naked. Why can't the flight attendant understand this? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 19, 2020 Author Share Posted May 19, 2020 I'm not a gynecologist but I'll take a look. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 20, 2020 Author Share Posted May 20, 2020 The word number doesn’t have the letter ‘o’ in it, but we abbreviate it as “no.” What's up with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 21, 2020 Author Share Posted May 21, 2020 If there was a cure for stupid, stupid people wouldn't take it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 22, 2020 Author Share Posted May 22, 2020 Quote Don't take criticism from anyone you wouldn't take advice from. -anon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 Juice taste better when you stand there and drink it with the refrigerator door open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 Someone needs to invent a microwave which scans the barcode of your food and cooks it the way it's supposed to be cooked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orsd Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 6 hours ago, lacanteen said: Someone needs to invent a microwave which scans the barcode of your food and cooks it the way it's supposed to be cooked. I have a feeling that if someone does it they are going to use it for DRM purposes. ”Sorry, but cooking xyz is prohibited. Try new ABC brand food flavored substance instead!” ”Sorry, but your current subscription does not include popcorn. Please call 1-800-get-bent to add it for only 19.99 a month” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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