lacanteen Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 It turns out that living through a global event that will be remembered in the history books isn't anywhere near as exciting as reading about it in history books makes it seem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted November 23, 2020 Author Share Posted November 23, 2020 I'm not sure about an inner child, but I have an inner idiot that shows up once in a while. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted November 24, 2020 Author Share Posted November 24, 2020 Our beds are the one place we all go to remember all of the things we were supposed to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted November 25, 2020 Author Share Posted November 25, 2020 Confidence is not "they will like me" - it's "I'll be fine if they don't". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted November 27, 2020 Author Share Posted November 27, 2020 One often overlooked but very important aspects of evolution is that our arms are exactly long enough for us to wipe our own azz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted November 30, 2020 Author Share Posted November 30, 2020 Hydrogen is super flammable. Oxygen is an accelerant. Together they form a liquid that's really good at putting out fires. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 2, 2020 Author Share Posted December 2, 2020 Vanilla is universally associated with "plain" despite being its own unique flavor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 3, 2020 Author Share Posted December 3, 2020 Somewhere in the world there is someone who just threw their yogurt container in the sink and the spoon in the trash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 5, 2020 Author Share Posted December 5, 2020 The Calzone was definitely invented by someone that dropped the pizza on the floor on the way to bake it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 8, 2020 Author Share Posted December 8, 2020 Phobias are basically psychological allergies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 9, 2020 Author Share Posted December 9, 2020 There comes a point in life where people telling you "look how big you have gotten" stops being a compliment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 10, 2020 Author Share Posted December 10, 2020 Subway really normalized eating an entire loaf of bread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 15, 2020 Author Share Posted December 15, 2020 If shopping turns you on then you're buysexual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 16, 2020 Author Share Posted December 16, 2020 New jobs are easiest when no one likes the person you're replacing; they're hardest when everyone loved them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 18, 2020 Author Share Posted December 18, 2020 In the big scheme of things, life is just a short break from nonexistence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 21, 2020 Author Share Posted December 21, 2020 Adulthood is 50% “I’m too young for this to be happening” and 50% “I’m too old for this crap”. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 22, 2020 Author Share Posted December 22, 2020 People think being smart is knowing everything, without asking questions, but it’s actually the opposite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 23, 2020 Author Share Posted December 23, 2020 The older you get, the more utterly unfeasible it becomes to change your mobile number. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 25, 2020 Author Share Posted December 25, 2020 Dogs live in the moment on a level that we humans could never achieve. And they’re content with it. They get in the car and don’t know if the next destination is the dog park, the vet, or a 5 hour road trip. They’re just happy to be included. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 28, 2020 Author Share Posted December 28, 2020 If laundry baskets were the same shape and volume of washing machine drums it'd be easier to see when there was the right amount of clothes to wash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 28, 2020 Author Share Posted December 28, 2020 I wish people came with a 30 second trailer so I could see what I'm getting into. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 29, 2020 Author Share Posted December 29, 2020 Whiskey and I are a bad combination. One disappears, the other ends up naked. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted December 30, 2020 Author Share Posted December 30, 2020 The adult version of “Where’s Waldo” is looking for the unsubscribe button in emails. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 5, 2021 Author Share Posted January 5, 2021 It's interesting how quickly 'too drunk to cook a frozen pizza' can become 'sober enough to fight a fire'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted January 7, 2021 Author Share Posted January 7, 2021 Some people wake up feeling like a million bucks. Me? I wake up feeling like insufficient funds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now