Hell explained by a chemistry student

[mission vending]

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with his colleagues, via the internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heat when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religion s and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can predict that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect that the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionally as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If  Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, “ It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.” Then take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and already has frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell is frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct………. leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which also explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, “OH MY GOD”

He received an A+.

[lurtsman]

Despite a few logical flaws in his reasoning (one glaring), the answer is both funny and proves a clear understanding of the chemistry in question.

[G-man422]

Outstanding!  Hahaha

[mission vending]

Despite a few logical flaws in his reasoning (one glaring), the answer is both funny and proves a clear understanding of the chemistry in question.

Agreed on the flawed reasoning, but I'll bet a day's pull it got at least a grin out of you.