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review script to email


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i tried a few and got no response. So, i adapted to this one using some cut/paste. 

how does it look? What i am missing is a offer statement and dunno how to put it there.

Dear sss

My name is xxx and I own and operate ssss Vending machines. We specialize in placement and service of coin operated snack machines.

Each machine I place helps support the zzz. (https://zzzzca/ for more info) There is no cost or time that is required on your part. The machines can be placed as long as you like to have it.



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That's way to much.  They tuned out after the second sentence.  Plus,  if you're doing charity,  don't bother with your business name. 

Just tell them you're working with (your charity) and would like to place a machine there. 

Or we're helping.......

That's it. 

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Are you offering full size snack machines?  What exactly is a coin operated snack?  If this is directed to the full size vending machine market, remove any reference to giving money to a charity.  On the other hand, if you are actually donating to a charity for the bulk market, they probably already have some free marketing material to give you.



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