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Zombies? What is a vendor to do?


PerformaVending

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So, the other day I was working on fixing up one of my machines. A friend of mine had come over, and we were talking about "the walking dead" TV show, as we nerds are apt to do. So, out of the blue- he throws this question at me: "If you were trapped in here when the zombies came, which of these machines would you use as a weapon?" Well, after some thinking, I said I'd choose my Ultravend- it's got a metal support column, a wide base, and a blunt machine on the other end. A lightweight hammer of sorts. Now, I thought it was such an odd question, it had to be shared. So, in this hypothetical scenario- which of your vending machines would you use to battle an incoming zombie hoard? Maybe parts of a machine? It's open ended, hypothetical, and stupid- and that's what I like about it. Any thoughts on this?

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Of the machines I have right now, I would probably use my Edina mechanical machine. Mostly the coin collection columns in it. Heavy duty metal that can be used to beat down and chop off heads of rotten, decayed flesh.

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I'd probably change my selections to brain juice and purposely jam my soda machines. That way, when the zombies put their money in and don't get their brain juice, they'll shake the machine and BAM!! Death by vending machine.

Oh wait... they are already dead? Hmmm... In that case, I guess I would have to get a couple of my MAKA validators out and use them as hammers. It's not very long range but at least I won't get overly exhausted from carrying around a bulk candy machine or a changer.

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I'd probably change my selections to brain juice and purposely jam my soda machines. That way, when the zombies put their money in and don't get their brain juice, they'll shake the machine and BAM!! Death by vending machine.

Oh wait... they are already dead? Hmmm... In that case, I guess I would have to get a couple of my MAKA validators out and use them as hammers. It's not very long range but at least I won't get overly exhausted from carrying around a bulk candy machine or a changer.

NO, NO.NO you are looking at this all wrong, You put the MAKA validator in the machine marked brain juice and escape when the zombies spend two days trying to get it to accept their dollar

Also not being a fan of zombies what will happen to the zombie if I were to unground the machine and attach the hot side to the chassis of the machine. Just a thought

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NO, NO.NO you are looking at this all wrong, You put the MAKA validator in the machine marked brain juice and escape when the zombies spend two days trying to get it to accept their dollar

Also not being a fan of zombies what will happen to the zombie if I were to unground the machine and attach the hot side to the chassis of the machine. Just a thought

I didn't think about this! Just imagine how many zombies will be lined up and distracted! And THEN, when the machine is jammed up, they'll rock the machine and BAM! MASS ZOMBIE SPLATTER! GENIUS!

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I'd probably change my selections to brain juice and purposely jam my soda machines. That way, when the zombies put their money in and don't get their brain juice, they'll shake the machine and BAM!! Death by vending machine.

Oh wait... they are already dead? Hmmm... In that case, I guess I would have to get a couple of my MAKA validators out and use them as hammers. It's not very long range but at least I won't get overly exhausted from carrying around a bulk candy machine or a changer.

MAKA Hammers? Good idea!

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I'd use a vendstar.

Now you're thinking it's a plastic piece of junk that won't defend me, but it doesn't need to. Here's how I see it.

You give a zombie a vendstar and they'll start planning a wedding. It's the perfect match. As soon as anyone looks at it they can see it is decaying. Parts just hang off waiting to break. You wouldn't want to have to pay to have either one of them. If you've ever bought one second hand you know that the person who first found them probably had their life destroyed, just like the zombie.

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  • 1 month later...

The irony is I found this topic while finally cathing up on this seasons Walking Dead :)

one of my favorite shows and it is filmed in atlanta ga. shane had to go! now let the walkers eat that skinny cheating b!otch with that bratty kid! jk
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one of my favorite shows and it is filmed in atlanta ga. shane had to go! now let the walkers eat that skinny cheating b!otch with that bratty kid! jk

Yes Please!

Let the Rictatorship begin!

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