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Vending can be fun(ny)


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One day in Vegas there was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine, and she arrived there just before a businessman coming to quench his thirst.

She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, selected Diet Coke, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine.

Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and put it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke and out came a Coke and 50 cents change.

She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine,studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew.

As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up. "Excuse me, miss, but are you done yet?"

She looked at him and indignantly replied, "Well duhhh! I'm still winning!"

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A man and his wife in court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child.
The wife jumped up and said: 'Your Honor. I brought the child into the world with pain an labor. She should be in my custody.
The judge turns to the husband and says ' What do you have to say in your defense?
The man sat for a while contemplating then slowly rose. 'Your Honor. If I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out.. whose Pepsi is it .. the machine's or mine?


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