lacanteen Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 You can tell if you’re officially ‘old’ when you fall down in front of other people. If they laugh and point, you’re still young. If they look scared and rush to help you, you’re old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 6, 2017 Author Share Posted July 6, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 7, 2017 Author Share Posted July 7, 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 7, 2017 Author Share Posted July 7, 2017 Another really good reason to colonize the moon and Mars is that there won’t be any mosquitoes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 Would someone please let her try a machine gun? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all of the items you have lost throughout your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 I owe my love of broccoli to the fact that when I was a child I used to pretend I was a giant eating trees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 13, 2017 Author Share Posted July 13, 2017 One of the worst jobs in the world has to be a fruit stand vendor in a James Bond movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 15, 2017 Author Share Posted July 15, 2017 Imagine having to explain cheese on a burger to a cow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 17, 2017 Author Share Posted July 17, 2017 My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex, but my wife insists is says dyslexia. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 18, 2017 Author Share Posted July 18, 2017 There probably is a guy in Hell named Chance. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 19, 2017 Author Share Posted July 19, 2017 If you don’t own a dog whistle you can use two teenage girls who haven’t seen each other in a month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 20, 2017 Author Share Posted July 20, 2017 You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 21, 2017 Author Share Posted July 21, 2017 Living in a Heroin Epidemic Generation, you’d think the music would be a heck of a lot better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 22, 2017 Author Share Posted July 22, 2017 If you ever need to buy a noose from Amazon I bet the best ones are the ones without any reviews. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 23, 2017 Author Share Posted July 23, 2017 I have discovered a new form of exercise. It's a cross between a lunge and a crunch: It's called lunch. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 24, 2017 Author Share Posted July 24, 2017 If woman are always right, what happens when two lesbians argue? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 25, 2017 Author Share Posted July 25, 2017 Why do medications have side affects like 'headache', 'diarrhea' or 'suicidal thoughts'? Why not 'invisibility' or 'spontaneous orgasms'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mage Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 4 hours ago, lacanteen said: Why do medications have side affects like 'headache', 'diarrhea' or 'suicidal thoughts'? Why not 'invisibility' or 'spontaneous orgasms'? Can't help with the invisibility, but one woman reported that the Parkinson's drug, rasagiline was causing spontaneous orgasms and the drug, and the antidepressant/OCD drug clomipramine was found to cause "yawngasms" in some people. Yawning would cause an orgasm, while on the drug. But in a larger percentage, it caused impotence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngryChris Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 The signs telling us to drive safely can be very distracting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 26, 2017 Author Share Posted July 26, 2017 Snooze minutes are nowhere near as long as microwave minutes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lacanteen Posted July 27, 2017 Author Popular Post Share Posted July 27, 2017 Cat hair sticks to everything, except the actual cat. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 28, 2017 Author Share Posted July 28, 2017 I seriously miss when I would wake up and Justin Bieber would be the most annoying thing to read in the news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 30, 2017 Author Share Posted July 30, 2017 Sometimes we’re overwhelmed, sometimes we’re underwhelmed, but never are we actually whelmed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacanteen Posted July 31, 2017 Author Share Posted July 31, 2017 Sometimes we’re overwhelmed, sometimes we’re underwhelmed, but never are we actually whelmed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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