Lack of support from spouses, family

[antoniocinisi]

my wife has been mostly suportive,ecspecially at first.then as I kept  expanding our route instead of putting the money back into our saveings and she got a little irate like anyone else would have.I have pretty much slowed down on buying ,not stoped completly as I promised her but this has helped,ecspecially since now I spend LESS then what we bring home.the money we end up makeing helps too.last time we serviced I gave her some of the  money for xmas shopping, a little bribery goes a long way ya know.my wife has always helped me service.there are locations I would have a tough time finding or at all without her.

now my family differant story,they are comeing around now that they see the potential though.

[Jax Snacks]

All I can say is that entrepreneurs are a unique breed of people and their thought process is very different than "main stream" society.  Personally, I think that our educational system teaches and encourages us to become good little corporate cube drones or good little factory workers.  Very little time is spent in public schools even teaching the basic financial principals and skills needed for every day life.  Forget about teaching and encouraging corporate ownership.  It blows me away that in this country the educational system ignores financial literacy.  Not sure exactly why, but I have a few ideas for another time in the break room!  Maybe they are afraid of creating a bunch of Donald Trump types - with or without the hair!

Another factor is the culture and environment we grow up in.  I know many kids in the 70's that did not think an education was important and wanted to simply join a union and work in a steel mill to make the "big money".   Had some neighbors in western PA that worked 40 years in the mill - man, what a life!  After high school, we are were conditioned to work for someone else and to be told what to do.

I never talked to any family members about the vending business because I knew they would either be negative or unsupported.  I also never discussed quitting my high paying secure corporate job to them since they would all say I was crazy!  Sometimes I fell like I wasted 25 years of my life as a corporate drone, but better late than never I guess!  Fortunately, I have one cousin that is self employed and he is the only family member that I can discuss business with.

All I can say is keep your focus and keep on pluggin and tune out the nay Sayer's.

Jax

[tooldini]

My situation is really sucky right now. My wife inherited 150K and it is gonna be like pulling teeth to talk her into giving my 5K or so to get set up doing the vending in my friends bar. Jukebox, megatouch not sure if he needs anything else but he said I am in if I can get the stuff  LOL She thinks nobody makes money vending. To her I'm just wasting my time and money. She is a teacher also and your right about what they teach,, graduate and get a job thats the only way. I am so frustrated right now you wouldn't believe it. Hopefully I can work something out with her even if it is a kind loan. Just seems like to good of an opportunity to pass up. This bar has been around for over 40 years. I watched people dump dollars in the juke for the 3 or so hours the saturday night I was there. Kind long winded but just needed to let some stuff out.

[BluePlate]

OK, here's my story.  I'm always doing something to make cash on the side.  Computer repair, Merchant Services, ATMs, Vending.  My wife (now ex-wife) was never supportive.  She always slammed me, "why don't you just work your 9 to 5 like other people". We had a nice house, nice nieghborhood, nice 2 acre lot, nice inground pool,  2 nice cars, ect ect.  I always wanted more.  I have never been one to slow down or I never have let my financial destiny be in other peoples hands.

My wife never really knew how much money my businesses brought in - seperate bank accounts.  We would go away for a weekend and I would take a some $$ out of my business account or I would give her a nice gift out of my business account (one being a $500 Coach pocket book she still carries to this day).  She never cared to know how much was in there or what I made, she never helped and always complained.

When we began our divorce, one of the first questions was "How about your side business income, I should get a % of that in Child support and alimony!". 

If your not married, sign a pre-nup.  If you are, start drafting a post-nup before your business gets too big! 

Anyways in the end, she was never too good of a wife, but she is one heck of a Mother and I will always love her for that. 

[The Mage]

I grew up with a family that never supported me.  My brother still has no respect for me, and when I was younger, was jealous of the way my parents treated me.  But never noticed, as I did, that the reason my parents seemed to be more helpful of me is that they also believed I was less capable.

My wife, while not always believing in what I was doing, has nevertheless supported me.  A few years back we hit a major financial snafu because of her medical issues, and it came at the worse possible time. 

I have worked hard keeping our heads above the water, and getting our finances in control, and I believe she appreciates that.

After I got started, she was talking to a co-worker about me getting into vending, and the person told her she knows somebody who retired from the police department, and started a vending business.  And wishes he had done it from day one because he is now making more money then he ever did with the force.  (Police, not Jedi.)

If anything, this has helped.  And even though she wishes I would talk about something else, I think she does believe (hopes) I can be successful with this.

Now do the wives not support you because you have given them reasons not to?  Or are they just like all the masses out there who have no vision, no idea of what success actually is, tells anyone who tries that they won't, and hates anyone who actually succeeds.

I agree with the idea that we cannot rely on our school system to teach anyone about money.  Who do you want to get your information about finances from?  Teachers who make less money then some of their high school students make on eBay, or Roger Folz?

[tooldini]

well sorry about the divorce I have been there to. Sounds like your probably better off though. Funny how when it came to the divorce suddenly she was curious about the income from the business. My wife was the same way when we met I was doing mobile windshield repair still didn't support at all and was kinda knocking it. Then one year I got really busy and was doing 20-25 a week and bring home over 1K then suddenly , Oh I can answer the phone for you and submit your job invoices while your out doing jobs  LOL funny it will probably be the same way with vending. Once I start bring home 1K a month in quarters she will wanna help the carry them

[ghostridergt]

My fiance isn't at all supportive. She was actually happy when I sold off my machines that I had in storage waiting for refurb. Now she's finally coming around with the extra $. That being sad she STILL complains when I'm here or on craigs trying to learn more about this great business or trying to expand. Its frustrating to say the least. She's the ultimate monday morning quarterback.

[BluePlate]

Damn guys! We should start a support group.......My name is BLUEPLATE and I ........well I ....... can't stop thinking about (ummm) QUARTERS!  Can somebody help me?

[tooldini]

LOL  hell yeah I thought I was the only one with those problems. Thats funny but there probably is a 12 step program for it like AA 

[The Mage]

LOL  hell yeah I thought I was the only one with those problems. Thats funny but there probably is a 12 step program for it like AA   

I hear AA's 12 step program is better then Brand's.

[Jax Snacks]

Uhhhh guys, we vendors don't need any program!  It's the majority of mainsteam society who spend their entire life working in a factory or a corporate cubicle that needs a (wakeup) program! 

Jax -  Punching out my time card for the evening! 

[mainor5251]

Ditto Jax you hit the nail on the head,

[tooldini]

Jax is correct

[mainor5251]

Bought my first machine today from eBay and the wife acted curius and supportive lets see if her tune chages when I try making a much larger purchase next week. Stay tuned may be fireworks.

[tooldini]

well if she is like mine she will be like that till you buy like 8 or so them they aren't located instantly  lol

[Poplady1]

Just a comment from a women's point of view.  Many years ago I started my business purchasing two over priced dial a drink machines on a Visa.  Everyone in my family teased me relentlessly.  Why would a women go into vending, its a mans world, blah blah blah.  Well one divorce and many happy years later, I am so glad I over spent on those two machines.  I have played many many many rounds of golf when I wanted, where I wanted.  I purchased the home I wanted with the land I wanted and brought my horse's, dogs and cats along with me.  Many of my family members who teased me ended up working for me...and watched as I enjoyed whatever type of car I wanted to drive, vacationed when and where I wanted and many times I brought those laughing family members along just to see them squirm. Fella's it was all worth it.  Hang in there and enjoy your dream.  I do want to mention that everything ended up well for me and I do love my family and friends.  They are the most important thing in my life and I enjoyed being able to help them.  And when everything finally caught up with me as I had a heart attack requiring open heart surgery, they were there for me.

AND to be be honest I did have one fellow in my corner.  He owned a large vending business locally.  I purchased a lot of equipment from him.  For some reason he took me under his wing and helped when I needed it.  Much like this forum does for all of you.  Once when I was feeling a little bit tired (working full time and growing a business) he said," If you will work just half as hard for your self as you do for your current employer you will do fine."   I hope that quote means something to each of you.  It may be one of the truest statements I have ever heard from someone.

Bev

Blue Moose

 

[McMEnterpr]

The route I took was to not really provide a lot of detail about the business and start placing machines and learning the ropes of the business. I didn't involve her at all in the beginning (this is what worked for me... it doesn't mean it's the best choice). About 6 months later, when I started earning a material amount of money, I offered to take her out while I service the machines. After seeing what I do, the fun parts, the challenges, and the $$ after servicing the route, she has been onboard. I'm getting ready to train her to start helping me out when I need to travel for my full-time job.

[whaletail116]

I agree with Jax entirely that entreprenuers have a different way of thinking and about how he mentioned our country's public school system having major defections when coming to financial education (I'd love to get this rolling in the break room too).

The original poster's wife has been taught her entire life to go to work, pay the bills, spend some money, and save the rest.  What you're doing with vending is going against everything she has been taught.  So teach her differently... and take it slow.

[Agapevending]

LOL My wife is the one  that found an ad and got me started. Now it's all i do. Plus take care of my soon to be 2 year old son

Matthew

AgapeVending

[sterling]

Women are nesters and men are hunters/providers by nature. So most women will not see the potential of business ventures at first. They see money going out (upsetting the nest security) since it is money that is "unscheduled". You have to show them and maybe do it despite thier potestations. If you have one that is on board and business minded then you are ahead of the game!

Most of us have to get to the point where she sees the profit or trusts your business acumen. If you don't have a good track record in business then this will be harder for you.

My wife doesn't really grasp the business world and isn't interested in risks and self discipline it takes. I am going into my second year of being my own boss and my businesses are profitable. I don't tell her every business move and tranaction she just trusts that I am working towards the good of the family. When I broke even on the vending business and am bringing in a good number approx $1500/month gross she is a little more positive about vending now.

[spdydre]

Well I started Full line and before I did my then girlfriend laughed at the idea and told me to get a life.

[whaletail116]

Hence the ex?

[alyssamma]

Sterling, what you post meant to be serious or humorous?

[sterling]

I suppose a little of both. I do like to point out the humor in things, but it is a serious topic. It was really meant to be serious. I just tried to make it a bit lighter, especially with the divorces mentioned in this thread.

[joebob051977]

I had a long response written, but I decided to stick to the truth. Your wife wants you to succeed because she loves you as mine does. There are lots of things your wife may be concerned about. If she is like mine, one of the biggest is the time. There are lots of things you could be doing other than vending which would benefit the family. The other, which isn't a problem for my wife and I, is the money invested.

My wife and I have set ground rules for our businesses. We get our initial investment money and that is it. If our business goes broke, then your business if done. I can spend 2 hours a month vending. If I exceed that, then I pay my wife minimum wage for watching the kids while I vend (negotiable by getting more things done around the house).

The bottom line is your wife loves you and wants you to succeed, but has reservations. One of the best things you can do is to set ground rules. This helps ease some of the concerns and helps you be more efficient.